I’m all for a fun team event! Always! Give me some yummy food, people laughing, actually talking to each other, and there is no PowerPoint in sight. I am so in! That said, I’m going to be very direct: some of the most telling leadership moments I’ve seen didn’t happen in a meeting. They happened standing next to a grill with a paper plate and a lukewarm drink. Somewhere along the way, leaders convince themselves, “This isn’t really work.” Except it is.
The setting might be casual, but your role doesn’t suddenly go on vacation. And neither does your impact. In fact, I’d argue this is when people are paying attention in a completely different way. Not to your strategy. Not to your updates. Just to you. Your team is quietly clocking things like:
Who you spend time with (and who you don’t)
Whether you stay in your comfort zone or make the effort to engage others
If you’re approachable… or just relaxed with the same two people all night
Where the line is between “authentic” and “we probably didn’t need to hear that”
And here’s the part leader’s underestimate: people may not remember every conversation, but they will remember how it felt to be around you.
Where it goes right is when leaders are intentional. They move around. They talk to people. They include others. They make it easy for people to join conversations without feeling forced. It’s natural, but it’s not accidental. And then there’s the sideways version: leaders checking out entirely, hanging out with the same inner circle, or oversharing like it’s a therapy session nobody signed up for. Or I hear all the time, the jokes were “cringe”.
Or that moment where one drink turns into… a different leadership style. No one says anything in the moment. But I promise you, they don’t forget it either. The reality check is this: you don’t actually get to “turn off” leadership because there’s a playlist and someone brought a yummy potato salad. If anything, this is when leadership is more visible. There’s no structure to hide behind, no agenda, no title slide, no buffer. Just behavior. And your team is answering one question in real time: “Is this the same person I experience at work?” When the answer is yes, in a grounded and consistent way, you build trust without even trying. When the answer is no that gap shows up later in engagement, credibility, and how people respond to you when it actually counts.
The bottom line is that summer events don’t create new leadership behaviors; they expose what’s already there. So yes, go. Enjoy it. Be human, because that part matters. Just don’t confuse “casual” with “off duty.” Whether you realize it or not, you’re still setting the tone. And people are absolutely paying attention.
This is exactly the kind of leadership nuance that doesn’t get talked about enough, but it shows up everywhere. At TPP, we work with leaders and executive teams on how they show up in these moments, not just in formal settings, but in the in-between spaces that actually shape culture. If you’re trying to build stronger, more consistent leadership across your organization, this is the work that makes the difference.
-Erin